Is it ever ok for the ejector to be even slightly loose?
No... It may wallow out the frame holes... with the ejector installed try cleaning with alcohol then apply some red Loctite all around the ejector base pins so that I will wick in to the frame holes.
Eric, would wicking LocTite be better??
and I don't s'pose anything will work long if the rear leg is broke like mine was
The pistol is going back to Nighthawk for service. End of discussion.